It's A Little Bit Funny, This Feeling Inside
by Titaniafairy
Summary: Dr. Quinzel is free like she has never been before. Free enough to realize that she would do anything for love,yes even THAT! This is the moment when Harleen Quinzel becomes that hell of a harlequin, Harley Quinn! Not exactly canon to Mad Love...


_If you recognize it, it does not belong to me. I own squat_ :(

Fired!

Fired?

Fired.

It was like one of those moments from a bad dream; one of those reoccurring nightmares that she had been having since she was an intern at Arkham. The doctors would realize that she wasn't ready for the big leagues and they'd take away her position and send her somewhere else. She'd have to deal with simple schizophrenics or worse be sent to schools and deal with adolescents whose only problems were teenage angst and parents with pins up their asses. Maybe they would even find out that her degree was barely real and one of her professors let it slip or maybe it was just that obvious to all of them that she was a fake. She had expected and prepared for all of these scenarios but this?

"I'm very sorry it had to be like this, I know this must be very hard for you," Dr. Arkham expressed, a look of true concern on his face. "But," he continued, "Your conduct with the Joker was not only unprofessional and inappropriate but frankly we are concerned for your safety, Dr. Quinzel. I'm sure you need no reminding of how dangerous the Joker is but your actions prove otherwise. I regret to inform you that not only will we be releasing you from our staff but I am having your license revoked, I hope you can see why. My advice would be to take a few months to yourself to get over this mess. Afterall, I feel slightly responsible, we should never have let you take on this case so soon." He shook his head sadly and sympathetically. God what a phoney! She could see right through his sympathetic façade!!

Harleen opened her mouth to protest, to plead. How could she explain that this was love and not a mess? Didn't he understand that she had made true progress with the Joker and that he **loved** her? She had seen and understood him where more experienced doctors had failed miserably! She had been more than ready to handle the Joker! But all that came out was a choke. Really, how could she make them see?

It hadn't taken her long to collect her things from her office. She was too busy obsessing over her patient to notice she had never bothered to customize or make herself feel at home. It had never really occurred to her that for the past few months the most at home she felt was sitting next to Joker on the couch during their sessions.

Though she had dreaded being in this situation since her first day of work at Arkham it was somehow different than she had imagined it. In her dreams she was walking towards her end; a black void of nothingness, failure she would never overcome and dreams that would never come true. Now she felt something new that she wasn't sure she had ever felt before. Liberated, she decided, she was free! Funny that she should feel freedom after losing the job of her dreams. Very, very funny.

So she laughed.

She laughed so hard she thought she would suffocate. Her cheeks would tear apart from the smile that was ripping across her face. Oh yes, it was quite funny. She tore apart the paper that declared her no longer a member of the Arkahm staff to shreds without bothering to read it. Her belongings she scattered on the parking lot macadam without a care. The only thing she held onto was the rose Joker had given to her early on in their work together (she had it dipped in wax to preserve it forever). Oh, Mistah' J! She couldn't stand the idea of not seeing him, not when she finally found the love of her life! She would get back to him somehow she just didn't know yet. It was OK, she hadn't been stopped from getting what she wanted yet, had she? With a newfound sense of purpose she headed to her car.

Normally Harleen wouldn't drive anymore than five or ten miles over the speed limit. Any law, even trivial traffic laws, should be obeyed because they were there for the safety of society and protection of civilians. Besides she couldn't afford to pay the speeding ticket if she got one. Tonight she took everything at 80 mph (the fastest her old car would allow), leaving the smell of burning rubber behind.

It was only early in the night and just barely getting dark and she knew that her mind would be reeling too much to settle home for the night. Instead she floored the gas and continued past her apartment to downtown. Besides, what did she expect to come home to anyway? Her boyfriend? He'd dumped her when her distant manner alluded that there was someone else. Her family? That was less of an option, she hadn't seen them since her freshman year at Gotham University. Her only companion or reason to live anymore had become the Joker.

It wasn't until she was right outside of Gotham's main entertainment district that she hit any significant amount of traffic, not at all unusual for the area. Her slowed pace, however, finally allowed her to pay attention to the scenes when she saw it. Set up in the park was a large whimsical tent that looked more at home in Dr. Seuss's Whoville than in drab Gotham City. The circus was in town, just what Harleen needed.

Since she was a kid she liked the circus. The trained animals were fantastic, the acrobats were incredible though when she had been in her prime of gymnastics she could do most of the stunts. Most of it was normal circus stuff; rings of fire, motorcycles on the tight rope and clowns with cream pies. She felt a pang of longing, Mistah' J would have loved this stuff! God, she really missed him. She sort of daydreamed as she watched a bunch of clown girls spin gracefully around the trapeze and fly to the tight rope and then back again. It reminded her of one of her first meetings with the Joker. He had been playing with her. "Harleen Quinzel, huh? Like a harlequin or Harley Quinn. A Joker with his harlequin, what a funny little pair indeed! He he ha ha!!" Harlequins, Harley Quinn - wait!! Oh Puddin' don't give up your Harley Quinn just yet!

"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she scrambled over the old man next to her and bolted up the aisle. The old man sighed, he should go to the circus more often, it had been sixty long years that last he had a pretty blonde on his lap.

Xxxxxx

Harley slid into the parking lot outside of Jo-Ann Fabrics with about five minutes to spare until closing. She rifled through the patters until she found the perfect jester design. After a quick look she settled on some red and black spandex. "I'll need some of this cut out, dolly!" she chirped at a grey haired lady in the green uniform vest. "Sweetie we're closing up. Put it on hold and we'll cut it out for you when you come back in the morning," she grumbled. "And after ya' got that done I need ya' to ring up half a dozen of those jingle-bells for me. ' Kay?" Harley continued as she waved a fifty-dollar bill in front of the woman's face. "How much did you want again, hun?" the lady asked quickly. Finally Harley had things going her way.

Model-home beige colored walls and uninspired IKEA furniture greeted Harley as she bounced in. Though it was late enough for most of the tenants in the building to be sleeping she did not hesitate to blast some Madonna on her stereo as she set about cutting and sewing her new work uniform. By 2:00 the next afternoon Harley sat on the couch eating a bowl full of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and admiring her sleepless night's worth of completed work. It fit perfectly and moved with her body like a second skin. The hat and ruff were adorable touches but she still needed a way to cover her face so that she could be truly incognito. She thought back to the last night and the circus costumes. Buried beneath lotions and perfume bottles in the bathroom cabinet she found what she was looking for. Some old and cracking white greasepaint, black lipstick and a small black mask were left over from a Mardi Gras party back when she was still in university. Jeez, had it been that long since she'd gone to a party and had a little fun? She supposed it had. It was OK, she and Mistah' J were about to have lots of fun together. One more stop and she'd be with her beloved again!

"I'm sorry miss but there is a 30 hour waiting period on a handgun but you're more than welcome to still purchase one," the clerk at the nearest gun shop informed her apologetically. "Oh, that's OK," she sighed, "Do I need to wait to buy something like say … I don't know… a machine gun?" " Errr, no actually you don't," he told her. "Well then I'll take that one there," she said pointing to the biggest gun in the store, "And whatever ammunition ya' need for it. It's never to late to exercise your second amendment rights!" The clerk chuckled a little too loudly in his nervousness as he rang her up. The purchase had cost her nearly all of what was left in her account. As he watched her skip out of the store the lifetime member of the NRA thought something he never thought he would, maybe the Democrats were right about gun control. Afterall, there just wasn't something right about that blonde chick.

She'd never fired anything bigger than a hunting rifles or pistol but it hadn't been hard to figure out. Fully costumed and armed she headed up the front stairs at Arkham with an excitement in her that was never there when she was a fresh-faced intern. Not many people ran into on the way to the Maximum Security Wing, just a few guards and a doctor who had a nasty habit of trying to get a look up her skirt. She mowed them down with her new toy, naturally, she didn't have the patience for potential obstacles.

"Thank you very much good sir," she said to the newly late security guard outside of the Maximum Security Wing as she plucked his keys and landed a kiss on his bloody cheek. She hummed "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco under her breath as she strolled down the hall, basking in the curious stares of the other inmates. It seemed like centuries ago when being in this very same hallway had given her the jeepers creepers and the need to look over her shoulder. But now she was just coming home to her Puddin'! "Do it baby, do it to me! Rock me! Oh oh oh…" she sang as she shook her hips and fumbled with the keys to the Joker's cell. The door swung open and she called out, "Puddin'! I'd like to introduce you to Harley Quinn!" She did a little somersault in the air into a curtsy when she saw him emerge from the shadows, even more breathtaking than she remembered. Emerald hair, blood-red lips, lanky form, bleached-bone skin and of course that mega watt smile! He was there and nothing mattered because she was with him and she was happy. Suddenly she belonged and her person felt complete. She would be glad wherever he was.

"Aww, Mistah' J! A girl can really get to missin' a guy like you!"

Joker looked at Harley in costume and then at the gun nearby on the floor and smiled that dazzling smile.

"Baby you're the greatest!"

_A/N: I really did NOT want to write this fanfic. It's been written a million ways and a million times but I felt somehow that it was necessary for me to do and no more plot bunnies would come if I didn't write it. So hopefully it can R.I.P. and leave me alone to write more interesting things! I must say that I do adore the last line but its not mine. It is from Batman: the Animated Series from the episode 'Harlequinade', an enchanting piece of cartoon if you have the time to watch I would highly recommend it is on YouTube. The decision to change from using Harleen to Harley was conscious, as well as her gradual switch from using Joker to other pet names, to show her changing mind frame and the moment when she actually becomes the Harley Quinn we know and love. Also, I know there is a waiting period on buying a handgun but I am not sure about the rest so if that bothers people I am sorry, it's not quite school yet and I was too lazy to research. I'm pretty sure that you can buy a machine gun right away at a gun show but whatever. I hope sincerely that everyone enjoyed this and if you'd care to let me know what you think via rate and review that would be super fabulous and appreciated !! :)_


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